HAPPY DAYS, HAPPY TOYS

I see a civil servant from Plymouth put up for sale at auction his collection of 7,500 McDonald's Happy Meal toys because his wife said that they took up too much room in his house and that either they, or she, would have to go. He agonised for a week and got rid of his wife. No - only joking. He reluctantly shipped the whole collection of Happy Toys to the auctioneer. Apparently, this most civil of servants visited McDonald's every week for twenty-five years until he got his sense of taste back. According to Wikipedia, that utterly authetic encyclopaedia of Hard Facts, Happy Meal toys have become increasingly elaborate in recent years. Whilst initially they were little more than cheap plastic trinkets such as frisbees or balls, they have gradually been replaced with increasingly sophisticated toys, many of which are aligned to some existing toy line or contemporary motion picture. Between 1996 and 2006, this was usually a Disney movie. That was when old Walt came to his McSenses and decided that he wasn't going to put his name to any more grub that did not accord with his own views on healthy eating, i.e. two lettuce leaves and a nutmeg sandwich, brown over easy. The degree of sophistication of contemporary Happy Meal toys is such that today each one comes with a wiring diagram and a full socket set. Surprisingly, the civil servant had to go back round to the auction room in his Ford Thames van, because there were no takers for his collection. No-one met his reserve of £10 the lot. I find this an incredible state of affairs. I can only assume that most people prefer their wives.

NATIONAL AFFRONT

I see that National Front chap, Griffiths I think his name is, was on 'Question Time' last night. Since then, the switchboard has been jammed with viewers demanding that the Beeb should have had Wogan on the panel instead. Not that I saw it, of course - far too highbrow for me. I watched another programme where two sturdy blokes built a shed in a garden in Torquay. Now, that's real television. Anyway, back to old Griffiths. I ask you - what has happened to our freedom of speech? He might have the dottiest views since someone said you could make a submarine out of a cow's udder, but isn't he entitled to voice them? I still recall Winston Churchill, unless it was some other cove, saying that while he didn't much like what I was saying, he would defend to the death my right to say it. I thought that was pushing it a bit too far, because I've never said anything controversial, or in the least important, in my entire life. Anyway, Griffiths had a rough time of it. Apparently, Greer Garson made mincemeat of him. I'm sure, though, that old 'Dickie' Dimbleby would have given him a fair summing up. I still remember when he did Winston's funeral, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Oh, and I've known my share of fascists. We had them down at the old grammar school. We called them 'teachers'.

SUNNY DUNNY

Dunbar is a town steeped in history. I believe that the castle dates from the 13th century. It is an imposing ruin, standing sentinel over the harbour of what was once a very busy fishing port. Dunbar is the sunniest seaside town in Scotland ('Sunny Dunny') and was the birthplace of John Muir, who created the notion of national parks in the USA and then here. He is greatly revered in America. The museum paying tribute to him in the town of his birth is a former retail unit on the High Street. Maybe the Council takes the same view as Ralph Waldo Emmerson: "Every hero becomes a bore at last."